


A Cross Section of Fantasies

by Cellardoor26



Category: iZombie (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-09
Updated: 2015-11-09
Packaged: 2018-04-30 20:45:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5179022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cellardoor26/pseuds/Cellardoor26
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Scott's delusional brain was not the first time Liv deluded herself with fantasies of telling Major her deep dark secret. </p><p>Here are five of them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Cross Section of Fantasies

**Author's Note:**

> My first posted work in quite a few years, but I can't help but feel gooey for these two. Which is not to say this is gooey. Probably I switched tenses during my work. Sorry in advance for that eyesore. Now go forth.

1.  
It's her second day on the job at the Morgue and Olivia isn't used to the hours quite yet. She's not sure whether it's her fatigue or clumsiness of adjusting to newly dead limbs that makes her drop the hot sauce bottle, a great crash echoing in the silent room as tiny red splatters everywhere, pooling beside her feet. 

It's definitely her fatigue that gives her idea all the hot sauce is blood (though medical training forces her to acknowledge the color and consistency really is quite off), and before Liv can rein in her imagination she sees Major on the floor, head bashed in and eyes unseeing, his brains on her plate. 

There is so much blood. It's everywhere. Under her nails, in her hair, soaking his shirt, the puddle of blood turning into a pool. 

But there is none pumping in his veins. 

In her haste to claim his brains she's drained him dry, and some part of her wants to laugh at that, make some sort of joke about encroaching on vampire territory, but what comes out instead is an apology, an absolution, an attempt at truth now that it is much too late, 

"Major, I'm- I'm a zombie." 

But of course it's really just hot sauce, and Major is safe and sound in his apartment, playing video games and trying to ignore that his ex-fiance won't return his calls or look him in the eye. 

Liv goes to look for a mop. 

2.  
They're tip toeing around each other, in the place that's supposed to become theirs, where she hasn't technically moved in but there's more than half her clothes and textbooks and memories strewn about, and she's trying really hard to seem disinterested in him as she folds her clothes and places them in the suitcase she brought. She's trying even harder not to glance at him every few moments, checking his skin color, the tired lines along his eyes that show he's been sleeping as poorly as her. She manages to remind herself that this is the right thing to do, she can't handle the thought of hurting him, killing him-

"That's mine." 

His words startle her out of her thoughts and she looks down as what she's folding. 

Oh 

Well technically it is his, but she's worn this shirt to sleep ever since she started sleeping over and she might not be a lawyer but possession is four fifths of the law or something and she can't imagine not sleeping in this shirt ever again. 

"I just thought," she trails off because he's got that look in his eye where he's feeling hurt and mean and she knows whatever he'll say next will hurt, 

"Yeah me too. But we don't always get what we think we should. What we've planned on. " 

The words aren't that painful, but his tone, like he's talking about the parents of the kids he tries to help, it slaps her, and he looks like he doesn't even know her. She can't give up this shirt, not when she's lost everything else. 

His eyes widen and she's realized she said that last part out loud

"You've lost everything? Liv you threw it all away! You dumped me, you won't-" 

"I'm trying to protect you!" She bursts out, and when she sees that look of confusion in his eyes she can't stop herself, "I'm dangerous, I could, geez I could destroy you! One scratch and my life is over but I can't let yours end with mine!" 

"Liv, you're not making any sense." 

And then her mind takes over, and she imagines scratching that itch, supplying him with the facts and details he so desperately craves and she so desperately wants to give him. 

"Can you forgive me?" She mumbles into his shirt and he's wrung out every detail from her and the silence is so pronounced she feels weighed down by it. His arms come around her, holding her, comforting her. 

He's kissing her cheek, forehead, hair, neck, pausing only to mumble yes against her skin. It's the first time since this ordeal she feels like herself again. 

When she finally comes to four minutes and twelve seconds later, she's still holding his shirt, but he's walked away, unwilling to wait for the answers she won't give him. 

She leaves the shirt perfectly folded on his bed. 

3.  
It's 4:07am and Liv is trying really, really hard not to think about the last time she slept over at Major's. She wants to save the memory of when she last stared at him as he slept, memorizing the planes of his face, the look as he slept, how his nose wrinkled when she poked his brow (something she discovered what now feels like a lifetime ago). Liv wants to be strong and brave and she cannot handle that when she looks at Major and is reminded of everything she's lost. 

But the pull of the memory is too strong, and Liv mixes memory with fantasy as she imagines having woken up Major that fateful night, as she has desperately desired to do. 

"Hey Major?" 

"Hm?" He asked, eyes closed, barely awake. 

"Do you love me?" Liv knows the answer to this, but she can't help herself. 

"Uhuh. Loads." He rolls over, pulling her close to him. Liv tries to bat his arm away but he holds firm. 

"But how much?" Olivia asks him, staring intently at his partially sleeping face.

"Enough to have this conversation in the dead of night when I have two new kids coming in a few hours and I know for a fact you finished all the coffee yesterday." Major is smiling during his speech though, and Liv cannot help herself, her heart fills with love for him, and she cannot help herself. 

"Major? I have to tell you something, ok? Something huge and it doesn't sounds real but it is real and it's terrible and I wanted to protect you from it but I think you're the only way I'm going to be able to handle it and I know I wouldn't talk about it but on the boat ride-" and he's staring at her, wide awake, she's got him captivated and worried, she can see that, but his arm hasn't moved from her, and so she can go on, "there was a monster, a zombie, and he scratched me, and I’m a zombie now, too." 

"See, I know from your face and your voice that you're serious but the only thing that keeps appearing in my head is 'Are you serious?' which probably isn't the most supportive or helpful thing to say right now, is it?" 

And it isn't, it totally isn't, but Liv doesn't care because he hasn't run away, or called her crazy or tried to hurt her and Liv feels so relieved that when she comes to forty-seven seconds later and realized not only does Major still have no idea what's going on, but he isn't even in her bed that Liv bursts into tears so loud and painful Peyton wakes up and comes to comfort her. 

4.  
It's not when Liv meets Blaine, but days after she saw her old classmate as a deranged, mad classic zombie from lore. After ingesting a new brain and capable of feeling emotions again does Liv realize that even with all the protective measures she put in place between her and Major that he could still get very very hurt. 

And without her permission or thought to her sanity her imagination goes into overdrive, concocting scenarios where Major gets hurt, gets beaten, gets eaten, gets turned- 

"Liv I have to tell you something." Major would say, coming to her with parts of his hair turning white, his skin taking on a ghostly pallor. 

"Major." Liv would breathe more than speak 

"Liv I have to tell you something crazy. I got attacked yesterday by this insane man with red eyes, and," seeing her alarmed look he hastened to add, 'it's okay, I got away, but see that was two days ago and, well this is going to sounds crazy but I think-"

"You're a zombie." His face switched from contemplative to amazed,

"Yes! At least, I think so. How didja-" But his words are swallowed as Liv attacks him, her mouth fixing itself upon him, leaving him no room to move, to breathe, to think.

"Oh thank God." Liv panted as she broke apart from him only long enough to shrug off her sweatshirt. 

When she comes back to her cheeks are almost flushed and Liv has no recollection of the past twelve minutes of whatever show Peyton picked for them to watch. 

5.  
Liv fists another handful of spicy cheese puffs, pausing only long enough to plop herself on the couch before shoving her fist into her mouth, chewing in a manner her mother would be horrified to see. 

Only Liv's technique is off, and she breathes more than eats the cheese puffs, coughing and choking and unable to breathe for a handful of seconds. 

It's during this time that Liv realizes this is the first time in four months and twelve days she's had trouble catching her breath. This is the first time she's felt human in four months and twelve days, and Liv marvels at the human condition, that cheese puffs remind her of her ever fading humanity. 

Later, on a midnight run for more snack food, Liv sees Major two aisles over, looking impossibly good in his Hanes T-shirt and sweatpants, rubbing the back of his neck as he ponders breakfast cereals. Liv feels her heart lurch at the familiar gesture she no longer gets to witness. 

It's really not her fault that as she waited in this impossibly long line (after checking to make sure Major had paid for his purchases - life cereal, and isn't that the whole crux of this?- and left) Liv's mind wandered, imagining Major stumbling upon her in the supermarket. She'd be looking at doritos, trying to figure out which flavoring had the spiciest peppers (something Liv was beginning to have an ameteur knowledge in) when she'd drop the bag, and bend to pick it up, only when she'd right herself she wouldn't be looking at chips but Major, his eyes warm and that almost smile on his face before he'd tell her something amazing. 

"So here's the thing-" 

"Major!" His voice would surprise her anyway. 

"Yeah, hi, see, the thing is that I've been patient. I've waited and watched and wondered when you were going to tell me. When you were going to realize that you're a really bad liar and sneak and that I know you well enough to know when you're trying to protect me from something-" she's speechless but Major sees her look and adds, "remember sophomore year when you were worried about your Orgo grade but pretended your test was the next week because I really wanted to go to the football game? Only I could tell you were hiding that tiny detail from me because you couldn't look me in the eye whenever you talked about homework. And you've been doing the same thing when you told me you didn't love me anymore. Whenever anyone asks you how you are and you reassure them that you're ok. When your brother brought in that movie last week-" Liv drops the bag of doritos, completely oblivious of the fact, only paying attention to Major. 

"Shaun of the Dead." 

"Yeah. At first I thought it was crazy, absolutely absurd. But it explains your hair, and skin, your newfound penchant for spicy food when I couldn't even get you to try that new Thai place because Peyton told you she burned her mouth on the food." 

"Major-" 

"And after I got over my shock I will admit I was a bit hurt you wouldn't come to me about this, that you wouldn't confide in me. But then I remembered two things. One is that you never really appreciated football, and it's guiding principle: to always have each other's back. You value other people over yourself." 

"I think you give me too much credit."

"No Liv, because the other thing is your guiding principle in life: do no harm. And I knew you had twisted that principle, that you wanted to protect me from yourself. That you pushed away Peyton and your family to protect everyone, and you ignored how alone that would make you feel. How vulnerable it would put you."

"Major,"

"But Liv, Olivia, who's going to protect you? Who's going to keep you safe?" 

"Major, I-" 

"So I'm not going to wait for you to realize you need someone on your side. I'm not going to wait until you come to me and act all surprised when you come out of your hiding and tell me you're a zombie. I'm going to tell you that I don't care what you are, because you're still Liv, and I-" 

But the cashier is telling Liv she owes thirty-four dollars eight cents and does she want to donate a dollar to breast cancer awareness so Liv never gets to hear how this particular fantasy Major would end his grand speech.

It doesn't matter, she thinks as she searches for pennies, she'll replay the fantasy over and over again in the car.


End file.
